


You Listen Yet You Don't Hear

by sisaat



Category: Leverage
Genre: Episode: s05e03 The First Contact Job, F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, dating advice for the socially incompetent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9423272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisaat/pseuds/sisaat
Summary: Set before the last scene of "The First Contact Job". Eliot just wanted some damn peace after the con, but instead he has to explain to Parker that not everyone is into bungee jumping and that fire isn't the important part of a candlelight picnic under the stars.





	

Eliot was glad this con was over. He was getting forehead cramps from all of the wide-eyed expressions he had been doing and if he had to keep up to geek talk, Hardison might start to think that he actually listened to his tech babble. At least he hadn't needed to draw from his increasingly in-depth knowledge of World of Warcraft. He wanted to maintain some measure of plausible deniability. But now he was back home and he could scowl and not talk as much as he wanted.

Or at least he could if there wasn't an intruder in his home.

Eliot growled. All he wanted was to cook himself something nice and catch some sleep before heading back to the brewpub for the evening rush. But now he had to deal with whoever was in his kitchen and he wasn't in the mood. They must have heard him come in, so he didn't bother trying to sneak. He reached the kitchen in a few long steps, scanned the room for the intruder and glared.

"Parker, I told you not to sit on the counter."

She looked bothered by something, but he wasn't inclined to care at the moment. He scowled, because she was in his home without asking again, sitting on his counter where he was planning to make food and because it just plain felt good to scowl. She glared back for a second before relenting and slipping off the counter.

"I have a date tonight."

"And?" She gave him, of all things, a fake search warrant where Hardison had written 'candlelight picnic under the stars?' like the nerd that he was. "You don't want to have a picnic?"

"It's not that, picnics are okay I guess, I just don't see the point of them and what about the candlelight part? I mean, fire is nice, but candles have pretty weak flames. Wouldn't a bonfire be better? I'm missing something. Hardison says I'm listening but I'm not hearing."

She looked pretty frustrated. Eliot sighed. This wasn't going to be as quick as he had hoped. He started taking things out of the fridge. He hadn't gotten around to doing groceries yet, but he could throw something together from what he had. He nudge Parker out of his personal space to give himself some elbow room before he set to cutting vegetables.

"It's not about the fire, Parker. It's about the... romantic mood."

"I don't get it."

Eliot had no idea how he was supposed to explain the point of candles on a date. Why didn't she go to Sophie for this? "It's about getting the right feeling. You know, like... when you take him bungee jumping, you're trying to get a specific feeling, right?"

"Yeah, that moment after you've jumped but before the ropes catch you, when whatever's gonna happen is out of your hands so there's no point to worrying about it and you can just let go and enjoy free falling for as long as it last," she said in a single breath with a manic grin on her face. "I don't see how you can get that feeling with candles though. Unless—"

"The point isn't to get that same feeling," Eliot interrupted before she could start brainstorming how to get an adrenaline rush out of candles. He poured some oil into a pan and placed it on the stove. "That's the right feeling for you, but the wrong one for Hardison."

"Oh. Why didn't he just say so?"

"I think he's been trying to." He did tell Hardison he needed to be more assertive. The hacker had no problem telling him when he didn't like something. Why couldn't he just do the same with Parker?

"Oh... I've been listening but I wasn't hearing," she said, repeating what Hardison told her. "But the candlelight picnic under the stars will get the right feeling?"

"It's what he asked for, no? Assume he's right about what he wants, even if you don't get it."

"But sometimes people are wrong about what they want."

"Sure. But how's trying to think for him been working out for you?"

She was silent for long enough that Eliot thought the conversation might be over.

"Will you pack us a picnic basket?"

"What?"

"What what? You're the one who can cook. I don't know what you eat during a romantic picnic. I don't want to screw this up!"

He should have expected this, he really should have. He dumped the vegetables into the pan with a bit more force than necessary. Of course he was gonna have to prepare a damn picnic basket.

"Fine! Whatever. Now get out of my kitchen!"

He scowled extra hard when she got back on the counter to escape out the window. Then he made a show of waving a knife at her when she grabbed a handful of the sliced bell peppers he had left on the cutting board for exactly that. She was never as enthusiastic about eating vegetables as when she was stealing them.

"See you later!"

Eliot shook his head and turned back to the stove, mumbling under his breath and mentally planning the food for his teammates damn picnic. He hoped it wasn't going to rain.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to get back into writing. Might do more Leverage fics, maybe. If people are interested and I find the motivation.


End file.
